Birthday Thoughts

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I am Cappie from Greek. Only a girl. And not as…loose.

I love nostalgia. I could drown in it.

You could hand me a million dollars and a new planner and I would be more excited about the planner.

I have lost some part of me that loved adventure. I don’t have adventures anymore. I’m not brave. I can’t even admit my feelings to people. I’m 24 and I’ve never been able to just say, “I like you. A lot.” And I’m ashamed of that a little. Why can’t I just suck it up? Why can’t I take risks?

I love writing, and somehow I seem to forget that until I come back to it.

I want to spend the rest of my life in a big house with my friends. All of my favorite people would be there and it would be a giant house of awesome. Are y’all in?

Books are pure joy to me. I don’t even know why. Sometimes it’s the story, but I am happy just thinking about the shape books come in. It’s an inexplicable source of happiness for me.

This is the first year that I’m not excited about my birthday. I’m really not.

I need work, not just to provide money, but to give me something to do. Being idle officially frustrates me.

I miss my girls every day.

I wish that I made friends now as easily as I did when I was five. Why can’t I? Can we all just go back to that simplicity?

Sometimes I think God regrets me. I feel like a failure over 50% of the time. I know it’s a lie, but I still feel like shit at the end of the day, more often than not.

I don’t understand math. At all. It boggles my mind that math is literally everywhere, in everything. CRAZY.

Tennyson will always be my favorite even though he was a sexist.

Bram Stoker is the man.

Will I ever get married? Do I ever want to?

I am dying to see the world and terrified that when I do, I’ll regret it.

I am so happy that my birthday landed on a Saturday this year. For real.

So the night before my birthday I ate pizza. On my birthday, I refuse to allow myself to eat dairy. But I will eat french fries. And have a frilly drink.

I don’t like excessively drinking. Over half the time I turn down opportunities to drink wine or beer in favor of drinking water.

I love water. It’s my favorite.

Pepsi-Cola Vanilla is my second favorite. For real, that stuff is practically crack.

Pop Rocks are gross, but still delightful. And they have dairy in them. (I WAS SHOCKED)

Persuasion is the sweetest love story ever. It is the perfect effusion of all the feelings. I cry every time I read it.

I hope I get the 8th season of Doctor Who for my birthday. But beyond that, I don’t think I wanted anything. I can’t imagine any big presents from my family because they give me so much already, being unemployed and all.

I love my family a lot. I love my sisters and I miss Brianna so much. A small part of me wishes that she lived with us all, but I’m really happy that she’s doing well in Denver.

I really want to be in school this year. I wish I had classes to attend and something to focus on.

NaNoWriMo is on my mind. I don’t know what I want to write, or if I’ll write anything this year. It would feel weird not to participate.

I want to vlog on a regular basis. I like it. I just hate editing it. Anyone want to video edit my vlogs for me?

I miss reading stories out loud.

I miss reading stories that matter.

There are people across the world who tore out pieces of my heart and I know I’ll never get them back. And I wish I could. I wish I could stop caring about people who have forgotten all about me.

I’m too sensitive.

I really do want to learn more about social media theory and technical writing. I’m on the edges of fascination.

I think that 24 terrifies me. I’m so scared.

I want, more than anything, to move from where I am, emotionally, physically, academically, spiritually, and psychologically. I just need a direction.

These are the thoughts I have leading into my birthday. Most are depressing, but I issue no apologies. I’m being honest with myself and with you.

Happy birthday to me. May this year be infinitely better than the last.

Autumn Reading List

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I get so excited about fall. Scarves, hats, and boots, oh my! And books. Reading with a cup of tea in your warmest, coziest sweater. It’s the best. I like making reading goals that I don’t live up to, so here we go again. My aspirations and dreams for the reading future.

I don't own this picture. I found it on Google images.

I don’t own this picture. I found it on Google images.

So first, here is my progress through my summer reading list.

  • Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard. Tom Stoppard is a genius. He wrote the latest Pride and Prejudice movie and many other things. I’m excited to read this.
  • Dracula by Bram Stoker. I’ve started it many times. I’d really like to finish.
  • Wool: Omnibus by Hugh Howey. I heard about this before it was officially published. Howey self-published first and got picked up later. I’m really interested to read his masterpiece.
  • Lost Lake by Sarah Addison Allen. I’m 1/3 of the through this and I fully intend to finish this before the end of the summer.
  • Waking Kate by Sarah Addison Allen. It’s the short story before the book above. Sort of like a longer prologue.
  • Notes from a Blue Bike: The Art of Living Intentionally in a World in a Chaotic World by Tsh Oxenreider. It’s great so far. I’m excited to read it.

I read six out of sixteen books. So here is my fall list.

  • The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo. I have officially started this and would like to get a few chapters into it this season.
  • Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Henry Ford. For real. I need to read this.
  • Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell. Molly Gibson is my favorite. I need to finish this.
  • Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry. I’ve had the audiobook forever. I need to finish listening to it.
  • Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. It’s a classic and I’d love to read it before I watch the movie. And I really want to watch the movie.
  • The Everlasting Man by G. K. Chesterton. Love it so far. I want to it so much.
  • Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery. Autumn is the perfect season to re-read this series and express my love for it.

And that’s it. I also wish to write reviews for all the books I read, but we know how awesome I am at that. Happy Autumn, everyone!

Bout of Books 11 Wrap Up

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I’m very proud and excited about all the books I read. A few were on my summer reading list, a few were fun re-reads from high school. I enjoyed myself though, and I hope that you did too!

Monday
Number of books I’ve read today: 1
Total number of books I’ve read: 1
Number of pages I’ve read today: 400 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 400
Reviews written: The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet
Books: The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet by Bernie Su and Kate Rorick

Tuesday
Number of books I’ve read today: 1
Total number of books I’ve read: 2
Number of pages I’ve read today: 600 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1000
Reviews written: None
Books: The Knight and the Dove by Lori Wick, Wool by Hugh Howey

Wednesday
Number of books I’ve read today: 0
Total number of books I’ve read: 2
Number of pages I’ve read today: 150 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1150
Reviews written: None
Books: Wool by Hugh Howey, The Proposal by Lori Wick, The Vintage Teacup Club by Vanessa Greene

Thursday
Number of books I’ve read today: 2
Total number of books I’ve read: 4
Number of pages I’ve read today: 628 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1800
Reviews written: None
Books: Wool by Hugh Howey, The Proposal by Lori Wick

Friday
Number of books I’ve read today: 2
Total number of books I’ve read: 6
Number of pages I’ve read today: 1046 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 2846
Reviews written: Wool 
Books: The Rescue by Lori Wick, The Visitor  by Lori Wick, Persuasion by Jane Austen, Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell, The Fairy Godmother by Mercedes Lackey

Sunday
Number of books I’ve read today: 1
Total number of books I’ve read: 7
Number of pages I’ve read today: 530 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 3676
Reviews written: None
Books: The Visitor by Lori Wick, The Pursuit by Lori Wick

Almost 4000 pages, 7 books and two reviews. I call that a win.

Bout of Books 11 Day 6

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I had a lot going on today, but I managed to squeeze in a little reading and a little Numb3rs. Which is an awesome show. I continued reading The Visitor by Lori Wick and I read a chapter of The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo. I didn’t finish any books today though. 

Monday
Number of books I’ve read today: 1
Total number of books I’ve read: 1
Number of pages I’ve read today: 400 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 400
Reviews written: The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet
Books: The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet by Bernie Su and Kate Rorick

Tuesday
Number of books I’ve read today: 1
Total number of books I’ve read: 2
Number of pages I’ve read today: 600 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1000
Reviews written: None
Books: The Knight and the Dove by Lori Wick, Wool by Hugh Howey

Wednesday
Number of books I’ve read today: 0
Total number of books I’ve read: 2
Number of pages I’ve read today: 150 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1150
Reviews written: None
Books: Wool by Hugh Howey, The Proposal by Lori Wick, The Vintage Teacup Club by Vanessa Greene

Thursday
Number of books I’ve read today: 2
Total number of books I’ve read: 4
Number of pages I’ve read today: 628 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1800
Reviews written: None
Books: Wool by Hugh Howey, The Proposal by Lori Wick

Friday
Number of books I’ve read today: 2
Total number of books I’ve read: 6
Number of pages I’ve read today: 1046 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 2846
Reviews written: Wool 
Books: The Rescue by Lori Wick, The Visitor  by Lori Wick, Persuasion by Jane Austen, Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell, The Fairy Godmother by Mercedes Lackey

Saturday
Number of books I’ve read today: 0
Total number of books I’ve read: 6
Number of pages I’ve read today: 300 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 3146
Reviews written: None
Books: The Visitor by Lori Wick, The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo

Bout of Books 11 Day 5

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Late update today! But I had to attend a cross-country meet in the wee hours of the morning (and I missed the Twitter chat–I’m miffed!), so I didn’t write it at midnight and post it at 1am like normal. I feel off.

I feel like I didn’t get a lot read, but I actually finished a book on this day. Go figure. I finished listening to The Fairy Godmother by Mercedes Lackey. It was a re-read for me, but one that I enjoy. I listen/read it once a year because I love it that much. I also wrote a review for Wool, which I will link below. And I’m continuing the English Garden series with The Visitor. Oh! I guess I finished two books. I also read The Rescue. Huh. So I got a lot read. Go figure. I started a myriad of books and read chapters of those as well. I’m glad I wrote this. I feel way more accomplished with yesterday.

Monday
Number of books I’ve read today: 1
Total number of books I’ve read: 1
Number of pages I’ve read today: 400 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 400
Reviews written: The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet
Books: The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet by Bernie Su and Kate Rorick

Tuesday
Number of books I’ve read today: 1
Total number of books I’ve read: 2
Number of pages I’ve read today: 600 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1000
Reviews written: None
Books: The Knight and the Dove by Lori Wick, Wool by Hugh Howey

Wednesday
Number of books I’ve read today: 0
Total number of books I’ve read: 2
Number of pages I’ve read today: 150 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1150
Reviews written: None
Books: Wool by Hugh Howey, The Proposal by Lori Wick, The Vintage Teacup Club by Vanessa Greene

Thursday
Number of books I’ve read today: 2
Total number of books I’ve read: 4
Number of pages I’ve read today: 628 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1800
Reviews written: None
Books: Wool by Hugh Howey, The Proposal by Lori Wick

Friday
Number of books I’ve read today: 2
Total number of books I’ve read: 6
Number of pages I’ve read today: 1046 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 2846
Reviews written: Wool 
Books: The Rescue by Lori Wick, The Visitor  by Lori Wick, Persuasion by Jane Austen, Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell, The Fairy Godmother by Mercedes Lackey

Woah. I’m on fire. I think I can officially say that.

Wool

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I finally finished yet another book on my summer reading list, Wool by Hugh Howey. Libraries are so great (when I don’t owe them money).

This book is sci-fi dystopian, which put me off it for a bit. There’s so much dystopian going around it’s hard to be enthusiastic about a new one. However, I’d heard about this from an Apple store Genius (at the Genius Bar) and he got me excited.

I love this cover.

The story is about Juliette, a woman who works in the Mechanical section of the Silo. An apocalyptic event happened and now all people live underground in this silo, where their only view of the outside is through sensors. Those sensors occasionally need to be cleaned, so as a capital punishment deal, when people commit a crime against the Pact, they are sent out to cleaning. Jules is appointed shortly after the former sheriff volunteers to clean and soon finds why he would commit such a mad act. She finds herself in the middle of a conspiracy and begins to wonder what secrets the menacing IT department has been keeping from the people of the Silo.

I loved this book. It was difficult to get started, but after I reached a certain point, I couldn’t put it down. Jules was conflicted and brave. She wasn’t your typical “strong woman.” She even had a bit of a romance with Lukas. I liked that she was freaked out and unsure a lot of the time. She went with her gut and tried to figure it all out.

I liked the way Howey wrote it. It was initially meant to be short stories, but you couldn’t really separate them. He gives the readers different points of view though, and I liked that. You saw from Jules, Lukas, Bernard (the evil IT man), Walker (the mentor to Jules), Holston (former sheriff), and others. It wasn’t stilted or awkward though, the flow was natural and kept up the steady pace.

The ending wasn’t surprising, but I couldn’t say I was expecting it. I didn’t have much knowledge about this book before I started it, which was nice because it meant I couldn’t predict the outcome.

Lukas and Jules relationship was a little…cliche. I wasn’t sure I would have bought it if I hadn’t really needed something happy. There’s a lot of sorrow in the book and their semi-whirlwind romance brought a smile to my face. It was a needed break from the sadness.

I would recommend this to dystopian lovers, but it isn’t so much science-fiction. So if you aren’t keen on the genre, it might not be for you. I don’t care for dystopian literature, but I did like this because of the characters and the mystery of it. So if you think it sounds interesting, go for it.

Bout of Books 11 Day 4

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It’s the end of another awesome reading day. I finished two books today.

*DANCE RECESS*

I finished Wool which simply makes my heart happy and I finished The Proposal which made me laugh. I had a good day. I’m excited about tomorrow and getting some more reading done. I’ll be starting Gone With the Wind. I’ve never read it before so I’m STOKED! How have y’all been doing?

Monday
Number of books I’ve read today: 1
Total number of books I’ve read: 1
Number of pages I’ve read today: 400 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 400
Reviews written: The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet
Books: The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet by Bernie Su and Kate Rorick

Tuesday
Number of books I’ve read today: 1
Total number of books I’ve read: 2
Number of pages I’ve read today: 600 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1000
Reviews written: None
Books: The Knight and the Dove by Lori Wick, Wool by Hugh Howey

Wednesday
Number of books I’ve read today: 0
Total number of books I’ve read: 2
Number of pages I’ve read today: 150 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1150
Reviews written: None
Books: Wool by Hugh Howey, The Proposal by Lori Wick, The Vintage Teacup Club by Vanessa Greene

Thursday
Number of books I’ve read today: 2
Total number of books I’ve read: 4
Number of pages I’ve read today: 650 (approximately)
Total number of pages I’ve read: 1800
Reviews written: None
Books: Wool by Hugh Howey, The Proposal by Lori Wick